Well, January is almost over. It sure has flown. And lots sure has happened. In my first blog i mentioned my goals. Well, I am happy to report that the attempted attaining of these goals is progressing nicely. I am learning, for sure, and have realized that it is okay to make mistakes. Everyone does it. And I am also learning to learn from them. One of my favorite quotes of all times is from Mahatma Gandhi, "Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes." Somehow, this gives hope to the entire idea of mistakes. It gives one the go-ahead to learn from them. Woo Hoo, Gandhi!
As far as my next goal, Killing with kindness, I am still trying to figure out exactly why it is so important to do this. Some of those who you try to apply this concept to really, truly, just don't deserve it. I think it best to ignore and move on. Why try when people still hold grudges and act petty and immature? Honestly, they are worth none of my time. I have been inspired by a book I read, "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert, and it has made me realize that by dwelling on past and negativity you are stealing time away from yourself and your happiness. So, I will still apply the concept of killing with kindness to all whom deserve it, but as for those who don't, I am too excited about the future and my happiness and my life to worry and ponder past confrontations and ridiculous accusations and issues that people who aren't worth my time have with me. I'm not being petty, I'm just beyond it.
As for the last goal, Loving myself.... It is getting easier. I am happy in my everyday life, and I am happy with those close to me, and I am happy with those who don't judge and love like love is supposed to be given, and I am so thankful for an extended family who has been nothing but supportive and loving and unconditional through these past couple of weeks when it seems the world turned upside down. All of these things, along with the cleaning out of my mind of negative things and people, and my daily talks with God, have made it easier to begin to see all of the good. It is so awesome. I can compare it to a doctor's visit when I was younger. I had been having trouble seeing in my first grade class, so my parents took me to the eye doctor. They concluded that I definitely needed glasses and they would put my first pair on priority with their lens cutters. Two days later, I was back in the office and the doctor was placing my new glasses on my face. I distinctly remember feeling a little funny and unsteady on my feet for the first few minutes. However, as soon as I stepped out of the door to the outside, it was like someone had taken Windex to my eyes and everything was vivid and clear. Color was the perfect color and everything was proportioned exactly right. It was amazing.
That is how I have felt lately with my new take on things. Though I am still clearing away the cobwebs and streaks, things are coming into perspective and becoming clearer and clearer with each passing day. And I am content. I know not everything is in its place at the moment, but everything seems to be on the right path!
God Bless! Happy January!!!!!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Today is a very sad day for me.
I will not go into detail, as it hurts too much. But for whoever of you actually read this new blog, please keep me and my family in your prayers. We definitely need them.
I have realized that this life is crazy. It throws more curve balls than a World Series Champion pitcher. It gets you down, so far down that it is sometimes hard to think you will ever come up.
However, if there is one thing that I have learned, it is to be strong and put faith in God because He is the one thing that you can always count on. He will keep you strong and keep you looking up and towards better times. I used to question my faith, but now have realized that it is the one constant in my life.
Anyway, please just keep us in your prayers. God listens.
I will not go into detail, as it hurts too much. But for whoever of you actually read this new blog, please keep me and my family in your prayers. We definitely need them.
I have realized that this life is crazy. It throws more curve balls than a World Series Champion pitcher. It gets you down, so far down that it is sometimes hard to think you will ever come up.
However, if there is one thing that I have learned, it is to be strong and put faith in God because He is the one thing that you can always count on. He will keep you strong and keep you looking up and towards better times. I used to question my faith, but now have realized that it is the one constant in my life.
Anyway, please just keep us in your prayers. God listens.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Snow Days in the South
BRRRR!!!! It's cold outside down here in Atlanta! I have talked to people in my hometown of Greenville who say it is cold there as well. This got me thinking.... Southern people completely FREAK OUT when John Cessarich or Jack Roper (local upstate SC weathermen) call for snow. Why? Well, actually, they don't even have to call for snow. They mention the words freezing rain, sleet, ice, etc., and the entire region rushes to their local grocer to stock up on, yes, i know, bread and milk.
This poses another question- why bread and milk? I mean, seriously, if you are going to be stuck in a house for several days, which is what Southerners think is going to happen, why would you want bread and milk? why not get the filets and steaks? Or the really good wine, you aren't going to be driving anywhere. I mean, why not take this time to live it up at home, splurge and throw out all the stops...
Anyway, back to the threat of snow in the South. Here's kind of a typical happening. Okay, first, the weatherman promises freezing weather, temperatures below freezing, AAGGGHHH!!!! Then, the typical Southern family sits glued to the television set watching the ticker across the bottom of the screen to see if their child's school is closed for the day, or if there is a delay. (don't forget this is just because of potential freezing precipitation.)
Next, the fam bundles up in their warmest garb, they will take no risk letting the cold air hit their faces, hands, etc. This 'gear' includes, but is not limited to, long underwear, wool socks, rubber boots or cold weather shoes, turtle necks, wool sweaters, the warmest, biggest, fluffiest jacket or coat they own, gloves or mittens, scarves, ear muffs, hats, face masks, etc.; you name it, it's on! I forgot to mention that Dad has started the car about 30 minutes ago to make absolutely positively sure that the family won't be cold when they head to the grocery store.
Which brings me to my second question about the items purchased at the store. Bread and milk. So, the family piles into the grocery store. Shedding layers and shivering when they see the other patrons. This gesture is simply to acknowledge the weatherman's predictions and also to give justification as to why the entire family looks like the Michelin man. This trip is unusual and out of typical routine seeing as how the family splits up. Mom to the dairy section, Dad to the bread aisle. Meet back at the front. Because this Southern family is so prompt in their freezing weather preparations, there is still bread and milk! SCORE! They will survive the snow. Both Mom and Dad walk victoriously back to the front of the store proudly displaying their survival items. Dad drops the bread off with Mom and bundles back up and heads outside to restart the car. (it's only been 5 minutes, but, IT'S GONNA SNOW!!! Mom stands in line to pay for the two items along with the rest of the neighborhood. They exchange pleasantries about the weather, and what they have heard is going to happen, and how many inches, blah blah blah!
Well, you get the idea. It's insane. The rest of the day for the typical Southern family who is waiting on snow is pretty low key. Kids sit by windows watching and waiting for that first flake. "Look, Snow!" "No, wait, never mind!" Moms bask in a day where they don't have to go anywhere, excluding the grocery store, don't have to really do anything. It is a free pass day for them just like the kids. Dads build fires and dig out the sleds and watch the news and weather channel so that he can be up to date with every change and detail in the weather.
When it does snow that inch,that glorious inch, it is like Christmas all over the South! Kids practically roll out of their front doors, (rolling because they're so bundled up) sleds in tow, to the nearest hill. Kids meet up with friends and trade sleds and throw snowballs and build snowmen and make snow angels and just have fun in what is probably the only 'winter storm' of the season. Parents, well, they all congregate in the streets and yards drinking milk.
This poses another question- why bread and milk? I mean, seriously, if you are going to be stuck in a house for several days, which is what Southerners think is going to happen, why would you want bread and milk? why not get the filets and steaks? Or the really good wine, you aren't going to be driving anywhere. I mean, why not take this time to live it up at home, splurge and throw out all the stops...
Anyway, back to the threat of snow in the South. Here's kind of a typical happening. Okay, first, the weatherman promises freezing weather, temperatures below freezing, AAGGGHHH!!!! Then, the typical Southern family sits glued to the television set watching the ticker across the bottom of the screen to see if their child's school is closed for the day, or if there is a delay. (don't forget this is just because of potential freezing precipitation.)
Next, the fam bundles up in their warmest garb, they will take no risk letting the cold air hit their faces, hands, etc. This 'gear' includes, but is not limited to, long underwear, wool socks, rubber boots or cold weather shoes, turtle necks, wool sweaters, the warmest, biggest, fluffiest jacket or coat they own, gloves or mittens, scarves, ear muffs, hats, face masks, etc.; you name it, it's on! I forgot to mention that Dad has started the car about 30 minutes ago to make absolutely positively sure that the family won't be cold when they head to the grocery store.
Which brings me to my second question about the items purchased at the store. Bread and milk. So, the family piles into the grocery store. Shedding layers and shivering when they see the other patrons. This gesture is simply to acknowledge the weatherman's predictions and also to give justification as to why the entire family looks like the Michelin man. This trip is unusual and out of typical routine seeing as how the family splits up. Mom to the dairy section, Dad to the bread aisle. Meet back at the front. Because this Southern family is so prompt in their freezing weather preparations, there is still bread and milk! SCORE! They will survive the snow. Both Mom and Dad walk victoriously back to the front of the store proudly displaying their survival items. Dad drops the bread off with Mom and bundles back up and heads outside to restart the car. (it's only been 5 minutes, but, IT'S GONNA SNOW!!! Mom stands in line to pay for the two items along with the rest of the neighborhood. They exchange pleasantries about the weather, and what they have heard is going to happen, and how many inches, blah blah blah!
Well, you get the idea. It's insane. The rest of the day for the typical Southern family who is waiting on snow is pretty low key. Kids sit by windows watching and waiting for that first flake. "Look, Snow!" "No, wait, never mind!" Moms bask in a day where they don't have to go anywhere, excluding the grocery store, don't have to really do anything. It is a free pass day for them just like the kids. Dads build fires and dig out the sleds and watch the news and weather channel so that he can be up to date with every change and detail in the weather.
When it does snow that inch,that glorious inch, it is like Christmas all over the South! Kids practically roll out of their front doors, (rolling because they're so bundled up) sleds in tow, to the nearest hill. Kids meet up with friends and trade sleds and throw snowballs and build snowmen and make snow angels and just have fun in what is probably the only 'winter storm' of the season. Parents, well, they all congregate in the streets and yards drinking milk.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Kid's Birthdays
So, yesterday was Rhett's (the 6 year old i take care of) birthday. It was a normal kid birthday.. the balloons in the morning, cookie cake for breakfast, one present to open before school, etc. It is also one of the worst days of the year for siblings. It is one day when it is just not about them.
Chapman, the newly three-year old, just didn't understand why he didn't get presents, or balloons. It is almost heart-breaking. He was constantly asking, "Dessie (that's what he calls me), where is my present? It's my berfday. I need to open my present." That cute little face with those huge blue eyes, and that white blond hair just tugged at my heartstrings. All the while, Rhett is, in his matter-of-fact-I'm-the-big-brother tone, trying to explain to him, "Chapman, it is NOT your birthday, it is MINE. You don't get presents. Only I do. You can watch me open them. Oh, and here, you can have a piece of MY cake."
"Otay," as his head drops and he sulks to his seat at the breakfast table. And anyway, Rhett is off to school and I, for the rest of the morning, let Chapman think it's his "berfday" and let him play with balloons, etc.
This worked until it was time to take the cupcakes to Rhett's school to hand out at lunch. In the cafeteria, it wasn't even so much about the cupcakes as much as it was about the fact that Chapman didn't understand why he didn't have lunch like all of the other kids. "Dessie, when are they going to bring me my food?" (I think he thought we were at a restaurant.) I mean, poor kid.
If that wasn't pitiful enough, later on that afternoon when some older kids were around to celebrate and play with Rhett around the house, it was just taxing to watch Chapman trying to keep up with them. He was constantly yelling, "Wet! Wet! Wet! Wait for me! Wet! Wait!" (Wet is what he calls Rhett)
I guess growing up with a brother, and him being a year younger than myself, I never really understood this longing to be with the older sibling and be like them and do what they did, etc. I mean, I can compare it to watching television and wanting to be like the DJ Tanner, and Kelly Taylor, or my favorite singer or movie star, but this between the boys is so much more intimate and heart-warming. For all of the bickering and tattling and arguing and whatever else little boys do, to see the longing of Chapman to want to be like Rhett really touched my heart.
Needless to say, this morning Chapman's birthday fever had not subsided, so after Rhett left for school, he insisted on "making a wish.'' Thus, we repeatedly lit the number 6 candle and i sang "Happy Birthday" oh, about 7 times.
I hope all those wishes come true.
Chapman, the newly three-year old, just didn't understand why he didn't get presents, or balloons. It is almost heart-breaking. He was constantly asking, "Dessie (that's what he calls me), where is my present? It's my berfday. I need to open my present." That cute little face with those huge blue eyes, and that white blond hair just tugged at my heartstrings. All the while, Rhett is, in his matter-of-fact-I'm-the-big-brother tone, trying to explain to him, "Chapman, it is NOT your birthday, it is MINE. You don't get presents. Only I do. You can watch me open them. Oh, and here, you can have a piece of MY cake."
"Otay," as his head drops and he sulks to his seat at the breakfast table. And anyway, Rhett is off to school and I, for the rest of the morning, let Chapman think it's his "berfday" and let him play with balloons, etc.
This worked until it was time to take the cupcakes to Rhett's school to hand out at lunch. In the cafeteria, it wasn't even so much about the cupcakes as much as it was about the fact that Chapman didn't understand why he didn't have lunch like all of the other kids. "Dessie, when are they going to bring me my food?" (I think he thought we were at a restaurant.) I mean, poor kid.
If that wasn't pitiful enough, later on that afternoon when some older kids were around to celebrate and play with Rhett around the house, it was just taxing to watch Chapman trying to keep up with them. He was constantly yelling, "Wet! Wet! Wet! Wait for me! Wet! Wait!" (Wet is what he calls Rhett)
I guess growing up with a brother, and him being a year younger than myself, I never really understood this longing to be with the older sibling and be like them and do what they did, etc. I mean, I can compare it to watching television and wanting to be like the DJ Tanner, and Kelly Taylor, or my favorite singer or movie star, but this between the boys is so much more intimate and heart-warming. For all of the bickering and tattling and arguing and whatever else little boys do, to see the longing of Chapman to want to be like Rhett really touched my heart.
Needless to say, this morning Chapman's birthday fever had not subsided, so after Rhett left for school, he insisted on "making a wish.'' Thus, we repeatedly lit the number 6 candle and i sang "Happy Birthday" oh, about 7 times.
I hope all those wishes come true.
YEAH!!!
Howdy!
So.... first BLOG!!! Yippee. I am thrilled, as I know whoever is reading this is as well!
With the new year comes new goals. Not resolutions, just goals. They aren't unachievable either. They are simply things I want to do that I am going to try and do.
Starting off with getting over the fact that you are going to make mistakes. And you are going to bring bad things upon yourself. The GOAL is to accept that and deal with it and learn from it and move on. It is not the easiest thing, but it is definitely getting easier to do.
Another GOAL is to recognize and practice a most basic concept my mother taught me years ago... "Kill them with kindness." This one falls right in place with the first GOAL I am out to achieve. People can upset you, be petty, talk about you, be mad for something you did to them or someone that they care about, and hold it against you. I have learned, and put into practice, the concept of killing with kindness. It involves more than just being nice. It also involves the act of ignoring, which can sometimes be super difficult. Applying this kindness act makes you realize that you are capable of a maturity level that is beyond the people you are "killing with kindness."
The third, and most important of my GOALS is to learn to love myself. Not too long ago, I made a mistake and hurt several people in the process. I realized several things-- hurting someone you care about makes you feel like pond scum; you realize who your real friends are and who understands that people make mistakes; you learn to learn from those mistakes and fix what is important and what matters; you learn that you are only human and that just because you did something wrong, doesn't make you a horrible person. All of these things combined helps to put the focus on healing and yourself, and makes it easier to begin to love yourself and be a better person.
I guess the point I am trying to make and the reasoning behind the GOALS is to really focus on the NOW and the present and leave the past and the mistakes and mishappenings behind. To realize that what is done is done and cannot be changed. To understand that no one is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes. To really challenge yourself to work on what relationships matter and which ones don't. To love yourself and be happy with yourself so that you can love other people. That is the most important thing.
So, there you go. Those are the GOALS. that is what I am working towards and that is what really matters.
It's what it all means...
So.... first BLOG!!! Yippee. I am thrilled, as I know whoever is reading this is as well!
With the new year comes new goals. Not resolutions, just goals. They aren't unachievable either. They are simply things I want to do that I am going to try and do.
Starting off with getting over the fact that you are going to make mistakes. And you are going to bring bad things upon yourself. The GOAL is to accept that and deal with it and learn from it and move on. It is not the easiest thing, but it is definitely getting easier to do.
Another GOAL is to recognize and practice a most basic concept my mother taught me years ago... "Kill them with kindness." This one falls right in place with the first GOAL I am out to achieve. People can upset you, be petty, talk about you, be mad for something you did to them or someone that they care about, and hold it against you. I have learned, and put into practice, the concept of killing with kindness. It involves more than just being nice. It also involves the act of ignoring, which can sometimes be super difficult. Applying this kindness act makes you realize that you are capable of a maturity level that is beyond the people you are "killing with kindness."
The third, and most important of my GOALS is to learn to love myself. Not too long ago, I made a mistake and hurt several people in the process. I realized several things-- hurting someone you care about makes you feel like pond scum; you realize who your real friends are and who understands that people make mistakes; you learn to learn from those mistakes and fix what is important and what matters; you learn that you are only human and that just because you did something wrong, doesn't make you a horrible person. All of these things combined helps to put the focus on healing and yourself, and makes it easier to begin to love yourself and be a better person.
I guess the point I am trying to make and the reasoning behind the GOALS is to really focus on the NOW and the present and leave the past and the mistakes and mishappenings behind. To realize that what is done is done and cannot be changed. To understand that no one is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes. To really challenge yourself to work on what relationships matter and which ones don't. To love yourself and be happy with yourself so that you can love other people. That is the most important thing.
So, there you go. Those are the GOALS. that is what I am working towards and that is what really matters.
It's what it all means...
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